For those that don’t know me, my name is Ryan Ebner and I’m proud to say I’m Justin’s older brother. No matter your relationship with Justin (whether it be a friend, classmate, son, grandson, nephew, cousin, brother, you name it…), the first thing you’ll realize is that he’s a huge guy with an even bigger smile. I’m 6’4” and whenever I gave him a hug, let’s just say I felt like the little brother. And, if I’m being entirely honest here, I’d always stand on my tippy toes next to him during family photos (he’d like that I finally admitted that).
My, as I like to say, “big little brother” had one of the biggest hearts and minds of anybody I knew – his compassion, empathy, and ability to listen (and truly listen) made him a go-to best friend to many. His impressive ability to read what seemed like 5x faster than anybody else and retain data like nobody else I know, made him not only a fantasy football legend, but this kid also knew every fact and stat about basketball, football, or baseball you could think of. I’m sure it helped him excel in his accounting classes too.
He also had one of the biggest appetites out there – as many of his housemates can undoubtedly attest to. The kid could eat – whether it was an entire large Costco pizza to himself, a triple entrée at Panda Express consisting of orange chicken, chow mien, and teriyaki chicken, or his infamous breakfasts that consisted of a dozen – yes, a dozen – jimmy dean sausages and 6 eggs, all packed tightly into 2 breakfast burritos.
In all seriousness, I mentioned this at the vigil but one of the many things that differentiates Justin from others was the fact that he really didn’t see social status or how popular somebody might be – what he saw was their heart and who they were as a person. He’d be that guy to stick up for the little guy, talk to those who feel overlooked, and take time out of his day to help those who are struggling.
As some of his fraternity brothers so eloquently put these last few weeks – He’s the first person to be at your door if you want to talk or are going through a hard time, tutor you if you’re having trouble with a class – especially accounting, walk you home after maybe having one too many, or be the first person to celebrate one of your successes – no matter how small. For these reasons and countless others, we put “Live Like Justin” on the light blue bracelets you saw and hopefully picked up at the front of the mission.
On the other side of the bracelet, you’ll see “You Matter” and I’d like to take a moment to explain why. A couple years ago, Justin found a social media influencer that was a huge advocate of mental health awareness and Justin loved the concept behind this influencer’s “You Matter” Brand – a brand that advocates for being there for one another and letting others know you care about them.
In 2019, Justin purchased “You Matter” hoodies for himself and his friends who he felt needed them the most. For those that were close to Justin these last few years at SCU, you know he LOVED his grey or yellow “You Matter” hoodies and wore them everywhere.
A couple days ago, I came across old essays and letters he wrote to friends. From December of 2019, I found a letter I’d like to share with you all that Justin wrote to a close friend who was going through a difficult time and serves as a strong testament to Justin’s embodiment of the you matter concept. The last sentence of the personal letter says, “I know you also have your own issues at times so whenever you need any support just put on this hoodie and remember that you matter to me and other people and that even when you are feeling low, you need to remember that you are strong and have persevered through so much.”
With everything going on within the Santa Clara community this past month, this is an important message we all need to keep in mind.
While, I never thought I’d have to give this eulogy for my little brother – it was always supposed to be the other way around, it really is clear to me that looking out on all of you today, it’s evident that Justin was loved by so many – from his Bellarmine, Sigma Pi, Santa Clara, and volleyball communities, and countless others, it truly brings immense comfort that my brother has made a lasting impact on every person he’s encountered.
I’m truly truly grateful for the fact that I got to experience an entire year with Justin while I was a senior and he was a freshman at Santa Clara. I got to see first-hand the effect he had on other people, his sigma pi pledge brothers, and the extended Santa Clara community.
While that was a special year to me and we had a lot of fun together, maybe too much fun sometimes (like that night in the army costumes), what really made me proud was how he evolved over the next two years. The confidence he gained, the excitement you could hear in his voice as he explained what classes he was enrolled in (especially accounting as many of you guys know), the friendships he developed, and the goals he created for himself.
He was excited for his upcoming internship at Ernst and Young where he was planning to live in San Francisco with friends during the summer, going to Vegas for his 21st birthday in August, going to the March Madness Final 4 with my dad in April, and to keep working on his beach volleyball skills – a sport I’m convinced he picked up to show off his abs and tan.
Growing up with you as my brother has been such a blessing and I’m going to miss life without you Justin – messing around on family trips with you, the holidays that feel empty because you are supposed to be there sitting next to me, laughing at the even the most stupid jokes together because our sense of humor was the same, the trips I had hoped we were going to have with our families when we got older, and so much more. I always thought we were going to go through life together. I’ll do my best to make you proud buddy because you made me proud every single day. I’m confident your character and heart will serve as an inspiration not only to me, but the people you’ve already touched forever. While you won’t be here physically, I know you will continue to be with us spiritually and your love remains.
Rest in peace Justin. We’re still best friends, we’re still best brothers. I love you buddy and forever will.
