Memorial Tribute from Jeremy Lum
In Memoriam - From Jeremy Lum, Bellarmine Teacher & Mentor
There is a well-known cliche of the gentle giant. Of all of the people I’ve met and of all the students I’ve taught, no one fit that description better than Justin Ebner. An incredible athlete, he excelled at anything competitive whether tennis or volleyball or anything, and yet, when competition was at a distance, he was a young man who had the gift to sit, listen, take in what was around him, and to respond to it emotionally. Too often in our society, young men are distant from their emotions as both masculinity and social pressures push men to be stoic. Justin wore his emotions on his sleeve. He had an emotional awareness of those around him. His care for everyone emanated from him. When the people around him were happy, he was happy; smiling and lighting up the room.
I remember one day he was falling behind on his work in screenwriting during his senior year and I asked him to stay behind so we could talk about his work. He opened up and tears started to come down his cheeks. He was open enough to do that in front me. Most young men are not.
I remember going to his graduation party from high school. He wanted to sit with me and chat about how graduation and everything that came with it was all so much to take in. Even with his family and friend and loved ones, he made time to sit and talk to me one on one as I am sure he did with everyone that day. He was so thoughtful.
Even after he left my class, he would stop by to talk about the latest film he saw or tv show he watched. He was also so enthusiastic or excited. He always wore those emotions on his sleeve.
And he cared deeply about others. We would talk about how much his family meant to him. How much his older brother Ryan was an inspiration. Randomly out of the blue, he messaged me a few months ago. Often when former students message me, it is to ask my opinion on a film (which I love and am always happy to talk about), Justin just wanted to ask with COVID and everything how I was doing. He cared. There was a kindness and dare I say a gentleness to him.
I understand, but I don’t like to talk about “the things he would have done” … I feel that too often overshadow the things he did do. Justin did change people’s lives. His care and kindness, his willingness to share and express himself. It is students like him that kept me going during the dark days of my younger brother fighting and eventually losing his battle with cancer. I, of course, was only his teacher, but even in my life, he shared his smile when I needed my day brightened. He told a joke when I needed a laugh. He was genuine when I needed to be reminded that genuineness still exists in a world that seems to shun outward expressions of sadness.
My thoughts, prayers, and love go out to his family and all of his friends as we grieve the loss of a wonderful young man, a gentle giant.